your thong is hanging out like whoa
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
My pussy is not your playground.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
