I think my vagina is haunted
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
