using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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