At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
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If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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