There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize