Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
