I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
you will always have a special place in my vag
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
You're like the curious george of whores
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
