I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
