You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
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