hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize