i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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