yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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