what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
