i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
