so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize