just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
