Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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