It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize