apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
