I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
