The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
