I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
