Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
