I want to have your abortion
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
