is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
