im about as happy as oj after his trial
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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