Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
