the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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