Bisexual people are plain selfish.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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