It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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