What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
