if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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