He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
