And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
