Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
