my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
