Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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