I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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