i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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