Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
