Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
