I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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