it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
