What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
