Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
