Whod you bang
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
