good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
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