Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
