So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
