she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
