drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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