Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
