I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
