This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize