The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
