Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
