I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
