READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
