..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I understand Curling. That high.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
