I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
