the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize