I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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