its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
